sky full of stars
by spacebarista
Summary: Kaidan surprises Shepard with a gift, getting her closer to the stars she so misses. (Post-ME3)


AN: A WHILE back, my friend VorchaGirl requested a fic about my Shannon Shepard and Kaidan sharing a "quiet moment". I especially wanted to get it finished when I saw she was having a rough time, since fluff can sometimes do wonders, and she's been nice to me always. Now, this might have gotten away from me a bit, but I really hope this meets expectations, and warms all'a y'all's hearts. Enjoy, and please review if you like it! **WARNING:** Brief mention of miscarriage.

* * *

"Keep 'em closed, Shepard."

"I _am_ ," Shannon laughs out, not daring to open her eyes or peek from behind her fingers. He'd led her outside—that much she can tell, with the wind whispering against her fingers, but too weak to penetrate the hoodie she'd stolen from him earlier that night—and left her by the door as he finished whatever his surprise is. The bigger surprise is that whatever he has planned for her isn't ready. Kaidan's always ready, always prepared. _Semper paratus_. He has a plan _for_ his plan, and backups for both. Yet she can hear the sound of him mumbling to himself, cursing over the sound of rustling leaves. "Everything okay, Alenko?"

Another curse. "Yeah. Yeah, everything's… Everything's fine." He huffs, moves something. "One more second."

Her smile widens. She can hear the frustration dripping from his voice. It's cute when he gets like this. When the slightest detail slips his notice, or slips out of place, shifting his whole balance off its axis. She loves Kaidan the slightest bit more in the moments he's caught unawares. It's a shame she can't see him. But she doesn't want to ruin his surprise. Another minute and a soft "okay" later, the air around her moves as Kaidan steps around her. His hands rest on her wrists, the side of his head against hers. Slowly, he pulls her hands down from the front of her face. She keeps her eyes closed.

"All right," he whispers, breath ghosting over her cheek. "Open."

Shannon gives it another second before following the order. If Kaidan hadn't been holding her hand down, it would have flown up to cover her mouth.

Kaidan had been working on some secret outdoor project for the last month or so. James, Steve, even Garrus and Tali, had all made appearances and played supporting roles in whatever he had been up to. He'd blocked the windows on the side doors, locked it behind him, even put up a tall fencing around it so she couldn't get in. Many a night she'd gone to bed grumbling half-heartedly at him about it, only to give in when her husband pulled her against his warm chest. Whatever it was going to be, it was big, special, and important to him. The surprise was important to him. He must have done everything he could to keep whatever it was on some kind of schedule, so he would know precisely when she could see it.

She's glad she never got a peek. It's better this way.

Kaidan's built them a deck.

It's massive, spanning the side of the house to where wide steps lead down to the orchard on one side, and raised side with a rail on the other. The wood is a lovely dark red color, and seems so smooth that it can't _possibly_ be wood. By the rail, she can see Kaidan's grill, a large table with chairs, potted and hanging plants, and lantern-like lights strung around the whole area. In the open area towards the orchard, benches line the existing railings, and a large black mat-like surface breaks up the wood. There's a punching bag to the side of it, as well as a rack of weights by one of the railings. But it's what's in the center, right where Kaidan's directed her to look, that grabs her attention most.

At the center of the area is a sunken square. The square is lined with cushions, pillows, blankets, save for three stairs leading in and out. These surround a metal brazier-empty, but she can imagine a small fire burning within it as she cozies up against Kaidan for further protection from a chill. More of the lanterns hang over the pit, dimly lit it allow her to see this area he's built them.

Or… Had he built it for _her_?

"Kaidan…" She breathes, letting her shoulders press back into his solid chest. "What _is_ all this?"

He hums, a warm rumble she hears and feels that sends warmth straight through her. "Well… It's a deck, patio, whatever you want to call it." Lips press to her cheekbone, and Kaidan stays close enough for them to brush lightly against her skin as he speaks. "A space for entertaining, dining, sparring. A space for us. I, uh.." He hesitates, clears his throat. "I thought it might help you. With everything. Open sky, fresh air, away from stress… And things."

Shannon sucks in a breath. Ah. That's it then. It's been several months, yet the pain of her miscarriage still lingers for the both of them. Visibly harder on Shannon, but she's always been mindful of Kaidan's quieter, more contained suffering. A as always, Kaidan is constantly mindful of hers. Her strength. Her soft place to land.

Of _course_ he would do this for her. Hadn't she wanted a permanent outdoor space for them, with a baby on the way? Something closer than Kaidan's favorite clearing. Something they could all share. Kaidan had given it to her. He's made it happen.

And he did it all with his own hands.

There's a question on her tongue, something she so wants to say to him. A truth she's come to understand. Instead, a weak whimper bubbles from her.

"It's… It's _amazing_ , Kaidan. I… I don't even know where to begin…"

A chuckle escapes him. He brings one hand to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles, releases the other one. "Then allow me," he offers, stepping into view. His eyes are shining. Mingling with the pride in his face is the one look Shannon always craves from him. Love, adoration. She does her best to make sure he sees it on her face, too.

Shannon lets Kaidan tug her gently towards the pillowed "pit". He steps down first, reaches up to help her follow him. They settle in on the side facing The open expanse of the Alenko property. The trees of the orchard lie below them to the left, but other than that it's open fields with scatterings of trees. In the distance, she can see the shadows of mountains, lost in the dark.

She had always been worried that Earth would not be as home to her as to her native son husband. She's a child of Mindoir, a daughter of Earthborns who had never brought her there before their deaths. The rest of her life was spent on and off ships and stations. The first time she had seen her homework had been when she arrived for basic training. Her stay for N training had been longer. She'd felt like a visitor.

Kaidan bringing her home to the Canadian country, however, had put all her fears to rest. She couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Except, perhaps, aboard the Normandy. But she's still grounded.

A chill runs through her despite the hoodie, and she snuggles into Kaidan's side. It's in moments like these that she's grateful for his tendency to run hot. It keeps her warm physically, and comforts her soul when she's scared she might break. Not many people know just how much the great Commander Shepard relies on Kaidan Alenko. Not for self-confidence, money, or any of the silly things people still claim come with love and marriage. But for stability, confirmation, and strength when she needs more than she has. He was her rock on the SR-1, her rock on the SR-2, and her rock in marriage. Maybe if she were colder, harder, she could do everything on her own. Then she wouldn't need Kaidan, but what kind of life would that be?

Kaidan kisses her forehead. "There's, uh… another reason I wanted to do all this."

"Hmm," Shannon hums, tipping her head up to return a kiss to his jaw. "I wouldn't expect you to do _anything_ like this without at least seven reasons, Kaidan."

"Funny." He brings his arm around, opens his omni-tool, and taps in a command. The lanterns dim, both above them and over the dining area. Shannon"s eyes stay on Kaidan's darkening face. He doesn't dim them completely, and light still filters out from inside. Still, Kaidan hums in satisfaction. "All right, Shan. Look up."

She follows the order, gaze shifting from one thing she loves so much to another: the night sky.

In the first few months here, once she could walk a fair distance on her own again, she'd made her way into the open fields to look up at the stars. Being hospitalized and grounded for so long had been hard on her. She'd spent so much of her life amongst the stars. Being planetside for so long made her the tiniest bit anxious. Less so than her imprisonment had been, but still there. She made it a habit, whenever the trapped feeling crept up on her. That first time, Kaidan had rushed out to find her, nearly tumbling down the hill she was sat on. She'd assured him she hadn't meant to worry him, that she just wanted some air and vaguely gestured to the sky. He'd stayed with her. Held her hand and didn't speak.

After that, when she disappeared, he'd wait before joining her, bringing a warm drink and a blanket or hoodie if she'd been out for a while. Sometimes he didn't join her at all to give her her space. She loved him for it all, and if he didn't join she'd snuggle up beside him in bed and pepper him with kisses as a thank you. She always kissed him when he joined her. Only once had anything more than sitting or cuddling happened. It was her time to see the stars, after all.

Not only has Kaidan given her a beautiful space to work out, dine, and entertain. He'd given her a beautiful space to curl up comfortably and gaze up at the stars. She doesn't need to go far, to wander. Kaidan could keep an eye out for her without interrupting her too much. But he'll always be close if she needs him. Wants him. She grips at his shirt.

"Kaidan—"

"We can always remove the brazier if it's not comfortable enough—"

" _Kaidan._ "

"—fill this thing with pillows and blankets, probably sleep out here when it's nice—"

" _Kaidan_!" Shannon laughs as she says his name, giving him a little push. "I get it, honey. It's okay."

"So… you like it."

"I didn't say that already?"

Kaidan hums. "I wouldn't mind hearing it again."

Shannon rolls her eyes, pushes him down into the pillows. She crawls over him until they're eye-to-eye, chest-to-chest.

"Kaidan." She kisses him. "I love it so much." Each word is punctuated with a kiss to his forehead, nose, both cheeks, and his lips again in turn. "Thank you."

"Good." He leans up to kiss her back, and for a few long moments that's all they do. It reminds Shannon of those nights on the SR-2, curled up in her cabin or in Observation. In full view of the innumerable stars. Before…

Shannon pulls back, gazes down at her husband. She can see the glint of her ring on the hand pressing into his chest. A thought comes to her, one she had had earlier but couldn't voice. She brings her other hand up to his face, trails her thumb over his cheekbone. He's beautiful like this—cheeks flushed, dark curls a mess, eyes half closed and full of something akin to wonder—and she can never get enough of the sight. She takes a breath.

"Did it help?"

Kaidan's brows draw together. "What?" His voice is breathy, quiet.

"Building this," she starts, just as quiet. Her hand shifts to stroke his hair, over the beginnings of a streak of white at his temple. "Did it help you?"

His mouth hangs open just a moment more before snapping closed. Even in the dim light, she can see the muscle in his jaw twitch. He looks just past her, up into the stars she loves. Shannon waits. It's what he'd do for her. She'd figured him out and he needs the moment. Finally he relaxes. He wraps a hand around her wrist, shifts his gaze back to her. A tiny, sad smile graces his lips.

"Yeah. Yeah, it did." He pulls her back down, kisses her before shifting to hold her against his chest. "As does your loving it. That helps most of all."

"Good. I'm happy to help."

Kaidan hums again and rubs her back as she shifts to look out at the stars. She's more than grateful for this space. The weather is nice. She can hear the crickets, the owls, the wind in the trees. Sounds she's come to love since moving in with Kaidan. It helped when she first got here, missing the whirring and beeps of machines or the hum of a running ship. Now, they're sounds she associates with home. Especially coupled with the sound of Kaidan's breathing and heartbeat. The latter two give her the most comfort.

Another question comes to her. "Hey."

"Hm?"

"Will you stay out here with me tonight?"

He chuckles, and she relishes the rumble of it. "I didn't have any plans to move."

"Good. Then how about you remind me which constellations we can see from here."

"Yes, ma'am."

Shannon settles in against his chest as he starts talking. She may miss the stars, but right now, in Kaidan's arms on the deck he'd built them, there's no where else Shannon would rather be.


End file.
